I had an argument with someone I love today and I think it escalated because I felt my need to put my opinion in, my perspective on something that really had nothing to do with me. It was their story their hurt and not mine.
It got me thinking about why we do this to ourselves? Why do we do this to ones we love? Why do we feel the need to have our say about things when all the friend wants is to be heard?
This story had nothing to do with me. It wasn’t a conversation that needed to be had because of something I’d done or said. It was a stirring of emotion for the person who just wanted to be heard.
Sometimes I need somebody to act as a mirror so I can do the reflecting or the soul-searching and find my answers myself. Everybody's life experience would be completely different to mine and where I see the answers they might see more problems. Today’s argument was a reminder that sometimes I just need to be a mirror. In fact, that most times I just need to be a mirror.
I’ve done a lot of my own shadow digging finding the things that have hurt me and how that they’ve affected my life in the past two years, and it has made me realise more about myself and why I am who I am. But those journeys didn’t happen without tears, they didn’t happen without the self actualisation and (mostly) they didn't happen without my journal.
I could’ve been the journal for this person today and instead I let my own ego get in the way and for that I’m sorry. I am sorry.
The emotions brought out in you could’ve been a journey, they could’ve been healing but instead it just added more hurt. Today I have been reminded to stop in those moments, take a deep breath, forget about my opinions and perspectives and just allow myself to stay and to hold space for all (friends, family and strangers) because sometimes all we need is a mirror. Someone to reflect with and someone to listen.
~Krystle